Stress & Overwhelm: How to prevent Stress from escalating to complete Overwhelm
Stress and Overwhelm are two very common terms that we hear a lot and experience. How often do you find yourself feeling or telling yourself you are stressed or overwhelmed? I notice myself having thoughts that I am stressed quite often, and when I am overwhelmed, my body and mind are completely depleted!
Both terms are similar but there is a difference. The distinction is important because when we are aware that we are feeling stressed, we can prevent ourselves from entering the land of overwhelm where we have even less control. But that first step is important: Awareness. How do you know when you are stressed?
Take a few moments to reflect and jot down some signs that tell you that you are stressed or beginning to feel stressed. Some of my own signs are: feeling more irritable, tension in body, restless sleep, lower energy, overworking with little progress.
Key difference between “stress” and “overwhelm”
Merriam-Webster dictionary define Stress as a “constraining force of influence” and they define Overwhelm: “to cover over completely; submerge”. or “to overpower in thought or feeling.”(Merriam-Webster).
Researcher Brene Brown (2021) illustrates an example of the difference between stress and overwhelm stating “stressed is being in the weeds. Overwhelmed is being blown” (p. 6). Brown (2021) emphasizes that “we feel stressed when we evaluate environmental demands as beyond our ability to cope successfully. This includes elements of unpredictability, uncontrollability, and feeling overloaded” (p. 5). Stress, therefore, is when we still have some control, but when overwhelmed, we do not have as much agency – we are overpowered by the intensity of our stress, emotions, thoughts, and/or environmental factors.
The way I think about it is if I am stressed, I am still swimming with my head above water but my arms and legs are frantically trying to keep me from drowning, whereas when I am overwhelmed, I am completely submerged under that sea of emotional intensity. And if we are completely submerged, we aren’t going to hold as much control until we can get ourselves a bit more above that water.
“stressed is being in the weeds. Overwhelmed is being blown”
Brown, 2021, p. 6.
How to prevent stress from getting to the point of overwhelm
We all know that stress in inevitable; we will experience different levels of stress throughout our days/ weeks. But the key is to keep the level of stress manageable. Here are a few ways to help cope with the excessive stress, tension, and burdens:
1. Attune to how you think about the stressful situation and see if your thinking can help you feel calmer and safer, rather that feeding the stressful thoughts. How we cognitively assess the situation (how we “think” about the stressful situation) influences our emotional reaction. (Brown, 2024)
2. Somatic tracking: Similarly to the first point, psychotherapist and author Dr. Alan Gordon (2022) explains somatic tracking as an effective tool to help trace symptoms in your body like pain, stress, or tension without the response of fear (fear is what heightens the stress response) and reinforce a sense of safety when you feel stress. The value of somatic tracking is that it helps to train the brain to reinterpret signals from the body that we typical perceive as a threat (ex: tension, constriction, pain etc.) and to view it from a lens of safety (Gordon & Ziv, 2022). When we can interpret these stress symptoms from a lens of safety, it tells our nervous system that we are safe, and the body can turn down the intensity of the stress/pain in our body.
Here are a few examples of how to attune and respond to stress with a lens of safety:
Think of a place that represents calm or tranquility – bring yourself to that place in your mind and try to immerse yourself in that place using all your senses. This will help to interject the stress loop.
Observe your stress symptoms with compassion and curiousity; comfort stress symptoms with care (gently rub/soothe where you feel tension, remind yourself you are okay and safe).
Focus on Nature – nature in-of-itself is grounding and helps to remind us that we are a small part (including our stressors) out of the entirety of life.
3. Anchor yourself with your breath– breath is more than just our respiration; it is what psychiatrist Christophe Andre states is “a special path of communication and exchange with all that is inside us and around us (2011, p. 28)” The breath signals our nervous system to calm. If our body feels calm, our mind can relax. Andre (2011) further states “Start by breathing. Then everything will become clearer” (p. 27).
4. Find the space of agency. Once you notice you are feeling stressed, attend to the agency that is still there to get out of the weeds – you may have to look hard, but it is there. Rumination of the stress can keep us stuck, but turning to where we still hold some control (i.e. breathing) can help can give us a better chance at seeing what else may be available to us in that moment.
References:
Andre, Christophe (2011). Looking at mindfulness: Twenty-five paintings to change the way you live. Blue Rider Press. New York, NY.
Brown, B. (2024). https://brenebrown.com/articles/2024/11/21/stressed-and-overwhelmed/
Brown, B. (2021) Atlas of the heart: Mapping meaningful connection and the language of human experience. Penguin Random House.
Gordon, A, & Ziv, A. (2022). The way out: A revolutionary, scientifically proven approach to healing chronic pain. Avery Publishing Group.
Merriam- Webster dictionary. Retrieved from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/stress
